I'll be the One to Tuck You in at Night
by gdspgcfan
Summary: Dean's past catches up with him, and he finds his life changed in ways he never imagined.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** I'll Be The One To Tuck You In At Night: Chapter 1/?

**Authors:** pyromaniac32 and gdspgcfan

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing/Characters:** Dean, Sam, and a few made ups but only one stays around...

**Summary:** Dean's past catches up with him, and he finds his life changed in ways he never imagined.

**Warnings:** Some language, but that's about it.

**Disclaimers:** No we don't own Sam and Dean. You don't want to know what we would do with them if we did, but we can say it would involve handcuffs and cowboy hats for sure.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to tillyrosestar (at livejournal 'dot' com) for the wonderful beta job!

* * *

"_**I'll be the One to Tuck You in at Night"**_

It had been two days. Two days since he got the call. Two days since his world had been turned upside down, leaving him lost and confused. He glances over at Sam, cringing inwardly when he catches sight of the makeshift sling they'd concocted to help support Sam's now wounded shoulder; the shoulder that got hurt because Dean hadn't been paying proper attention on their latest hunt. And that was just the final straw. He had to deal with this, and he knew it. Seeing that sling made it too clear just what was at stake here; Sam, Sam's life, hell, even his own life. He had to face this horror so it could finally stop clouding his brain, otherwise next time might be a lost life, rather than an injured shoulder.

"We're leaving tomorrow," Dean says in Sam's general direction.

"Perfect, I think I've already got our next case, check this out," Sam says as he turns the computer to face Dean, revealing a webpage with the latest news from Booker, Texas. "Reads like a Chupacabra. They're getting braver, moving further and further north from Mexico."

Dean gives the screen only a cursory glance before returning his attention to cleaning the gun before him. "We're not going to Booker," He says softly, almost too quiet for Sam to hear. A dead giveaway something is bugging him, and he tries to pretend not to hear when Sam brings it up, but Sam's too damn persistent, the little bastard.

"Dean! Dean, do not pretend like you can't hear me, what's going on with you?" Sam shouts out, exasperated at the bullheadedness of his older brother. He pauses for a moment, waiting for a response. He doesn't get one. "Dean, you're the one always going on about how we need to find the next case. People to save, no time for rest. And suddenly you're turning down a case? What, you already found one? You just hate the idea of this one? You…you aren't even listening to me so you won't mind if I call dad up and tell him you're the one who stole his truck back in '95 and wrecked it into the river trying to impress a girl?"

"You wouldn't dare." It's the only response Sam gets, but it tells him Dean's listening, which confirms his suspicion that Dean was ignoring him, which confirmed that Dean was hiding something, and had been for a few days now.

"Dean, enough is enough. You were off tonight, and you know it. And I know something is on your mind. It's bad enough to screw with your hunting skills, so it's got to be really bad. And if I'm going to be trusting you to watch my back, I need to know what's going on." Then he leans back against the headboard of his bed, content to let the silence drag out now that he's said his piece.

"We're going to Dove Creek, Colorado, Sam." It's not a request for agreement and it's not a suggestion; it's a fact. Pure and simple stated fact that Sam has to deal with.

"Why?"

Dean lets out a low growl of frustration and pushes out through gritted teeth, "Because I've got business there."

Sam sighs, knowing better than to push Dean. He won't say anything until he's good and ready to; something Sam has learned the hard way. He looks over at Dean for a few more moments before speaking up again. "Fine. See you in the morning then, g'night." he says before lying down and rolling over to face away from Dean.

Dean looks over at Sam, frowning slightly. He felt a little bad about not letting him know what was up, but this was just way too personal. He snaps the loaded clip back into his gun and shoves it under his pillow, just in case. As he shuts out the light and lies back, images of her come unbidden into his mind. He remembers everything about her. _Rebecca_. He remembers the way her long, dark-blonde hair cascaded in waves down her back and framed her face, how her bright green eyes sparkled when she'd first smiled at him…

_They'd caught each other's eyes from across the bar, and Dean had smiled, pasting on his charm. He'd walked over to her, motioning to the barman to bring her another drink._ "So, what does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"

"Thanks for the drink,"_ she'd said, laughing a little before looking over at him, her smile shining in her eyes._ "I'm Rebecca." _She had completely ignored his attempt at a line, something Dean was somewhat grateful for._

"Rebecca," _Dean nodded, liking the name._ "I'm Dean," _he'd said with a smile, and she'd sipped her drink and started asking about him; where he was from, what he did for a living, and he had to admit, he felt a little guilty lying to her. It had never really bugged him before, but somehow she was different, and he felt a little bad about the lies, but he had to._

_Later that evening, after about four beers and twenty conversation topics, she'd caught sight of his watch as he lifted his hand to signal for another round._ "Oh, is that the time already?" _Dean glanced down at his watch, reading just a little past midnight. _"Yeah, guess so. Why?"

"I really should be getting home, I've got work in the morning," _she had said, giving him a truly apologetic look. Dean took a moment for consideration before speaking again. _"Is your car out front? I could walk you out," _and his heart had skipped a little at her light laugh and bright smile as she told him she'd walked from her friends place. _"Then let me drive you home. It's late, and you never know what's out there."

He remembers the way she'd considered him for a moment, silently debating, before smiling in consent and walking out to the Impala with him. He remembers walking her to her door just to make sure she was safe, and being a little surprised when she'd invited him in. And by now, he actually respected her, almost felt bad about everything because he knew he was leaving early tomorrow for the next case, and Dean Winchester, for once in his life, almost turned down an invitation. Almost.

He remembers the way her skin felt under his hands, the softness of her lips against his as they tumbled onto the bed, hands and kisses and touches sweet and gentle. And he remembers waiting till after she was asleep before quietly dressing again and pausing in the doorway to look back at her. A semblance of guilt stabbed at his gut for leaving her like that, without a word, without goodbye, and he hadn't been able take it. He'd dug around until he found a scrap of paper and a pen, and he'd scribbled out a quick note: _Rebecca, something came up, I had to leave. I'm sorry, but here's my number if you ever need anything. 1-866-907-3235. – Dean Winchester._ And then he'd been gone. And now, with his last memories of her going through his mind, he drifts into a restless sleep.

Several hours, a car full of silence, and two meals later, they pulled into Dove Creek, Colorado. Dean pulls up and parks at the first motel he finds, sending Sam to get a room while he stays behind and unloads their bags.

Once they've got everything settled and situated in their room, Dean finally breaks the silence that had followed them all the way from Holbrook, Arizona. "I'm going to go to the library, see if I can't come up with some research for us. I'll be back later, alright?"

"Want me to help out? We both know I'm better than you with the book research." Sam asks, looking up at his brother to see if he gets the response he was expecting.

"No!" Dean responds all to quickly, and rather curtly, if Sam may say so. "Uhh, I mean, no, you can…stay here and work on finding stuff on the laptop. It's uhh, supposedly another umm, woman in white. Yeah, so…work on finding out anything you can. I'll be back later." Dean turns and walks out, slamming the door before Sam has a chance to ask any questions or call him on the fact that that was so obviously a lie that a damned rock could have figured it out. He quickly fishes his keys out of his leather jacket and walks over to the impala. Sliding in, he starts her up and pulls out of the parking lot.

He tries to distract himself by turning up the volume on his BOC cassette, but his thoughts drown out the music. _This_ _cannot seriously be happening. It'd been over a year now, why was he just now finding out about this? Why hadn't he gotten this call sooner? This really was something he should have known about._ He snaps back to reality again when a car in the other lane honks at him because he was starting to drift as he was driving. He checks the directions he'd scribbled out after having listened to the message for the tenth time, and sees that he's almost there. He takes a deep breath as his thoughts consume him again, and before he realizes it, he's parked outside the building; just sitting there, staring. _There's got to be some kind of mistake here. But no, they'd said 'Dean Winchester' on the message._ He takes a deep, though rather shaky breath as he exits the car, and starts up the steps.

As he takes the last few steps into the building, he almost forgets to breathe. He takes a look around the front lobby, and jumps a little when the receptionist asks if she can help him. "Uhhh, I need to see Amber Stillman. Please." The receptionist picks up her phone, punching a few numbers, and speaking quietly to the person on the other end. After she hangs up, she returns her attention to Dean. "Go down the hallway to your left, and she'll be the third door on the right." Dean mumbles a quick "Thank you." before following her instructions.

As he steps up to the door, he silently tells himself to calm down before having to meet this woman. With a slight intake of breath he slowly reaches up, knocking lightly against the door, thoughts still swimming through his mind.

"Come in," calls the voice from the other side, and Dean almost gives up and runs right then, but he steals himself, mustering up the courage. Then he's pushing open the door. "Mr. Winchester?" the voice says again once he's inside the room, and he looks up toward where it was coming from, seeing a smallish woman behind a desk.

"Yeah, I'm Dean," is all he can manage to get out. The woman stands, extending her hand to him. "I'm Mrs. Stillman, but please, call me Amber." And Dean, raised with some semblance of manners, accepts the handshake. "Please, have a seat." Mrs. Stillman tells him, so he takes his seat in the large, oversized chair in front of the desk.

"I'm going to guess that you're here because you got my message?" Dean pauses for a moment before answering. "Yeah, yeah, you uh, said something about an accident? What happened, and is…Isabel here?"

"No, Isabel isn't here, but a visitation can be arranged before anything has to be decided if that's what you'd like to do."

Dean pauses again before he responds. "Yeah, yeah. I want to see her, I want to see my daughter."

"I'll have to make a few calls, clear it with the orphanage, but I don't think it'll be too much trouble to have that set up for after we're done here." Dean nods in appreciation. "Thanks. So, what happened? I mean, you didn't really explain anything in the message."

"It wasn't her fault. She had just left work and she was almost home, but there was an accident. She had the green light, but the other driver, he hadn't been paying attention. They, uh, they took her to the hospital, but, I'm sorry, she didn't make it."

Suddenly it was like the world stopped for him, he'd heard _accident_ on the voicemail, but dead? Rebecca was _dead_? He swallowed hard as he tried to get control of something, anything. He wanted to go out and find the goddamn guy, the guy who didn't have enough time to stop at a red light and because of it; she was dead, leaving a baby behind. _His_ baby.

Dean is quiet for the longest time. Not sure how to respond to that. But when he does finally speak, it's all questions. "How long ago? How long has Isabel been without a parent? How old is she now anyways?"

Amber smiles. It wasn't often that the father actually showed up once they'd tracked him down, but to find one who actually cared about the child? It was nothing short of a miracle. "The accident was a few weeks ago, but you're a hard man to find Mr. Winchester. And Isabel is almost four months old now. Will be in about two weeks."

Dean felt a wave of guilt and sorrow wash over him. He'd been a dad for four months; he'd missed out on four months of his daughter's life? He should have been here sooner, should have known. He'd left Rebecca his number, why hadn't she called him? She shouldn't have had to be alone through everything, and Isabel shouldn't have had to be parentless for the past few weeks.

After a not so brief pause, Dean looks back up at Amber and speaks; his voice deep and sad. "Do you think you could make that visitation call now?" Amber nods and meets his eyes, still surprised that he hadn't immediately asked for the papers to give away his kid like all the other guys do without even giving it a second thought. "I'll try and get a meeting as soon as possible." She picks up the phone and quickly dials out a number, talking to the person on the other line for several minutes about how soon they could arrange a meeting. "Would half an hour work for you Mr. Winchester?"

Dean blinks, a little surprised and suddenly unnerved by the suddenness of the visitation. "Uh, thirty minutes? Uh, yeah…yeah that's fine." he manages to get out. Amber smiles at him and says a few last words to the voice at the other end of the line before hanging up. "Alright, that's all arranged now, but there's going to be some paperwork that needs to be filled out eventually if you're going to accept your legal custody of her." She digs around in her files for a few moments before pulling out the form he'll need to sign. "Now I want you to take this with you, read through it, make sure you understand everything and know what's going on before you sign it." Dean nods and takes the form, eyeing it warily; already beginning to think that maybe coming here hadn't been one of his best ideas.

Amber pointed out a few specific important things he would need to look at on the form before he signed any of it, and then stood up from her desk. "You can follow me to the orphanage where your daughter is being kept."

"Orphanage," Dean repeats, pushing back another wave of guilt that he hadn't gotten here sooner. "Um, right, ok." He stands up and follows her out into the hall, through the lobby and out of the building. She points out her car to him, saying that as long as he followed behind her, he wouldn't get lost.

Once she's made sure he was in his car and ready, Amber starts up her own car and pulls out onto the road, heading toward the orphanage, checking periodically to make sure that Dean was still following her in his older model black Impala.

The drive only took a few minutes, and had seemed even shorter for Dean as his thoughts consumed his mind, and when they arrived at the orphanage; he parks beside Amber's car and steps out, looking up at the shabby, run-down building. He takes a breath and looks over at Amber. "I'm ready."

Amber nods, and beckons him to follow her inside, leading him to the front desk where he had to sign in before then leading him back through the maze of halls to the nursery area. She leads him over to a crib in the far corner, and looks down at the baby. "Isabel, meet Dean Winchester. Dean, meet your daughter, Isabel." And when Dean finally looks down at the child inside the crib, his heart melts as he meets a pair of bright green eyes; wide, a mirror image of his own.

Innocent eyes looked up at them, a small giggle coming from the crib as Dean turned to Amber. "Can I…can I hold her?" He asks, unable to stop himself from asking the simple question; he wants to hold his daughter. He knows he shouldn't, but he can't help it. He is already falling in love with her.

Amber smiles and is already picking her up, cradling her gently as she hands her to Dean. Dean holds her, holds his daughter, close, tight, almost afraid she would disappear. He looks down again at those beautiful eyes, and he's scared. He's scared to stay, he's scared to go. He's scared to leave her, but even more, he's scared to keep her. The thoughts start racing unbidden through his mind. _What if I do keep her? What if something happens to her because I'm gone on a hunt? What if something happens because I _am _there, and a demon attacks? What is Sam going to say? But what if I leave her here? This place is horrible. It's no place for a child to grow up. At least me and Sam, we had the motel rooms, the edible food, each other. But here, she's not getting any attention. God, what am I going to do?? _He swallows hard, unable to look away from those eyes.

Dean finally pulls his eyes away from the perfect baby in his arms and looks up to Amber. "Can I have the other set of papers?" he stops, clearing his throat when his voice breaks on the words. "The ones that hand over custody of her?"

Amber sighs and looks up from Isabel. She'd done this many times before; it was part of her job. She'd seen too many irresponsible parents leave their kids in places like this, places they didn't deserve to be left in, because the parents didn't want to have any more responsibility. She'd thought he would be different when she first met him, and especially when she saw how he looked at his daughter; the love so evident in his eyes. "Yes, of course. They're out in my car."

"Thanks," Dean mumbles as he lays Isabel back in her crib, careful to avoid looking directly at her again. If he had to leave her, it was already going to be hard enough. He straightens back up and turns to face Amber. For a moment, he thinks he catches a glimpse of disappointment in her eyes, or maybe it was disapproval? Either way, it only added to the already growing guilt he was having about even asking for the papers.

Amber leads him back to the front desk, and he signs out before following her out to her car. She grabs a file out of her trunk, and opens it up, pulling out a form similar to the one he already had, but one that held a much different power if signed. He quietly thanks her before grabbing the form and tucking it in his pocket. "I'll need a form back within the next week; otherwise she'll automatically be confirmed into the system." Amber says before tossing the file back in and closing her trunk.

Dean nods slightly. "Sure, I'll call you in the next few days, I-, I just, I need to think about it."

"I understand, it's a big decision," Amber says as she stretches out her hand and shakes his. "It was nice to meet you Mr. Winchester; I'll be looking forward to hearing from you soon."

"Thanks for your help," Dean smiles, the worry still shadowing his face as he turns and walks to his car. He gives Amber one last weak smile before climbing in to the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

As Dean pulls up in front of the motel and parks, he's still waging an internal battle over what to do, and has finally come to the conclusion that, fuck, he doesn't want to admit this, but he needs Sam's help. He has to recognize that whatever his decision is, could affect Sam just as much as himself or Isabel, and he's got to respect that. "Fuck," he mutters to himself as he slings the Impala door open and steps out onto the warm pavement. He pats his coat pocket, double checking that he still had both forms, before taking a deep breath and walking to the door, preparing himself to face a more than likely irate Sam.

Sam had been pacing the small area of floor in front of the two twin size beds that were in the motel room when Dean opened the door. "Where the hell have you been?!" He asks stopping to glare at Dean.

"I told you. I went to the library," Dean replies distractedly as he steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Bullshit," Sam snaps, taking the few steps to reach his brother. "Tell me the truth! Something is going on with you and has been for several days now! I want you to tell me right now what the _hell_ is going on!!"

Dean growls deep in his throat and digs his fingertips into his palms, making tight fists, but determined not to swing. Sam is right, and Dean did intend to tell him what had been going on. "I…I had to, to see about some personal business Sam."

"Personal business? Like what Dean? What was so important that we ignored that chupacabra case down in Texas, huh? You know it killed again last night? So tell me Dean, what exactly was it that was more important than that guy's life??"

"I'm a dad…" Dean blurts out, and damn it that was really not how he'd planned to tell Sam, but there it was between them now, and all he can do now is brace himself for Sam's reaction.

Sam looks at Dean, not believing it for a second "Bull_shit_ Dean. Stop lying and tell the damn truth for once!"

Dean glares at Sam and can't help it when his voice rises to almost a yell. "Why the _hell_ would I make that up?!" He pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to push the oncoming headache away. After a few moments he starts to dig around in his coat pocket pulling out the custody papers and throwing them down on the bed in front of Sam. "Damn it, Sam. It's the truth."

Dean watches through narrowed eyes as Sam cautiously reaches for the papers, picking them up, his eyes flicking back and forth across the text. "Oh my god," he breaths out, his voice barely a whisper. It seems like forever to Dean before Sam finally looks back up at Dean. "Dean, I…I don't know what to say here. What," he pauses, trying to organize his thoughts. "What are you going to do? Is this about child support? Or something else? I mean, why did they suddenly track you down?"

"They want me to take, or give, custody of her," Dean says as he sits down on the edge of one of the beds and looks up at Sam. "Something," he stops, trying to keep his voice from breaking over the words, "Something happened to her mom, and now, now I'm her only chance for anything better than an orphanage."

Sam looks over at Dean, seeing the unusual amount of emotion, what he usually blocks out from everyone, clearly showing on his face, Worry, fear, guilt, but surprisingly not the regret Sam had expected there to be. "Dean, what are you going to do?" He couldn't even begin to imagine having to make that decision. "What's her name?"

Dean smiles a little as he looks up at Sam. "Her name is Isabel. Sam, you should have seen her, she's beautiful. She…" he pauses again, clearing his throat to cover the slight quaver in his voice. "Sam, she has my eyes."

Sam notices the way his brother's eyes light up the moment he mentions Isabel, and he knows right then that whatever Dean chooses to do about this it'll be what he honestly thinks is best for his daughter.

"So you saw her huh? How old is she?" He asks not pushing Dean on the subject of deciding about custody right now, he obviously needed time to think it over.

Dean looks up, the recent light still in his eyes "She's almost four months. She was so perfect Sam. I-I'm just not sure what I should do."

"Well, we uh, we don't exactly live the best life to raise a kid in Dean." Sam says, but after seeing the flash of pain through Dean's eyes, he quickly adds on "But dad did okay with us. I'm sure something could be worked out; it'd just be a big change. For both of us."

Dean sighs and dips his head down, elbows on his knees, resting the heels of his hands against his forehead. "I know Sam, I know. I never wanted this life for you, and I don't want to bring her into it, but that place, it was horrible. She…she was shoved off in a corner; no one was even watching her! And there were so many kids there; I just know she's not getting any attention. Christ Sammy, I have no idea what to do! I can't leave her there. No _way_ is that an option. But this life, I don't know."

"Look, I know you haven't gotten much sleep in the past several days, maybe you should just sleep on it? I mean, this is a really big decision, it'd probably be better if you make it once you've gotten some rest," Sam says reassuringly as he sets the papers down on the night stand between their beds. "Try and get some sleep, alright? And if you wanna talk some more in the morning or anything, I'm here okay?"

"Thanks Sam," Dean says with a small nod and a weak smile, knowing he'd be getting little to no sleep that night; knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about his daughter.

Sam smiles back, and gives Dean's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before crawling into his own bed and pulling the covers up. He leaves the light on for Dean, knowing that no matter what he says or does; Dean wasn't going to be getting to sleep any time soon. This was something that was just too big. He rolls over onto his side, facing away from Dean to give him some privacy to think.

Dean lies back, fully clothed and not bothering to remove the covers as his thoughts consume him once again. He has a daughter; a perfect little baby girl.

What seems to him like minutes later, he turns to look at the clock. The neon green lights flash 3:42 am. He'd been laying there completely enveloped in his thoughts for hours, and he finally knows what he has to do.

He sits back up, rubbing at his eyes and looking over at the papers where Sam had set them on the nightstand. He reaches over, grabbing them and walking over to the small desk in the corner of the room. He sits down and grabs a pen as he separates the forms and carefully regards each one. He takes a deep breath, holding it, as he presses pen to paper, scrawling out his signature, praying that he's made the right decision.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sat waiting anxiously in Amber's office. He had decided to bring the papers back to her early this morning; he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, his thoughts on a constant loop of 'what if...'s.

Amber steps back into the office and hands him a mug of coffee. "I was surprised to see you here so early Mr. Winchester, you said you have already made your decision?"

Dean simply nods in indication, and pulls out the form, handing it over to her. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Amber asks as she takes the form from Dean, glancing over it.

"Never been more sure of anything in my entire life ma'am." His voice is a little ragged; raw from the internal debate that had been battling ever since he signed that form. But in the end, he knew that was what needed to be done. Hell, in the end Dean couldn't deny that this was what he wanted to do.

Amber smiles, relief visible in her eyes. "I have to admit, I was very glad to hear your decision. It'll take a few days of course, paper work and everything, but by the beginning of next week you will be able to pick Isabel up and take her home"

"Home..." Dean mumbles quietly, thinking about the life they live. Was he making the right choice, bringing Isabel into this? Was this really what was best for her? Would he even be a good dad?

Amber nods. "Yes, Mr. Winchester. In order for this to be finalized, we'll need to know your permanent address," she pauses. "You do have a permanent address, don't you, Mr. Winchester?"

"Uhh, umm, uh yeah. Yes. I've just been uhh, traveling, a lot." He smiles, trying not to look like he's lying.

"Alright, may I go ahead and have that address, and we'll just get this all out of the way now?" Amber picks up a pen and flips her notebook open to a blank page, ready to write, and Dean panics slightly; then does something that surprises him a little. Dean gives the only address he can think of, the only home he has ever had. In Lawrence, Kansas. He watches Amber scribble down the address when it hits him that he has no idea what to get for Isabel, no idea what she'll need once he picks her up. "So, um..." Dean laughs nervously as he runs a hand through his hair. "I uh, don't...well, what will Isabel need?"

Amber carefully sets her pen back down and regards him for a moment. "Well, she'll need clothes. You'll have to find a good formula to feed her, diapers for changing her. You'll need to find a car seat compatible with your car so she's safe when you're driving."

_A car seat in the Impala?_ That was a weird thought, though Dad had put one in for Sammy when they first started hunting but that was the only time there had ever been any other seat in the car and it hadn't lasted long. Dean nods, making a mental note to get all of those things before he picks up Isabel. He wants her to have everything she would need. "Um, alright. Do you know a place in town where I could find all of that?"

"There's a little shop on the corner of King and Fifth, you should probably start there. They can help you out with the sizing of the clothes she'll need. Then you can get formula and diapers at almost any grocery store. And if you ever have any questions, you can always call." She smiles reassuringly. She has a feeling about this boy. He's going to make a great father.

Dean nods slightly, "Corner of King and Fifth...got it." He smiles and stands up, knowing he should get back to the motel before Sam wakes up. "Thanks for your help; you'll call me when you hear anything about when I can pick her up, right?"

Amber smiles "Of course, and like I said, if you have any questions, you know my number. Don't hesitate to call."

Dean nods again. "I'll be looking forward to your call." He smiles, almost in disbelief, as he walks out of her office. He walks out to the Impala, and barely even registers anything as he drives back to the motel. He quietly unlocks the door and slips in, trying not to wake Sam.

As he steps further into the room he sees Sam still asleep on his bed. He slips off his jacket and sits on the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands. "God, I hope I made the right decision..." he mumbles quietly to himself, unaware that Sam is really lying awake in the other bed.

Sam stays silent. He'd known when Dean left, that he wasn't going out for coffee or breakfast. He knew Dean had gone back to that office. But he honestly couldn't figure out what decision he had come to. Sam could see it going either way. _Dean will tell me when he's ready._ Sam thinks to himself. He just hopes it's soon, because this could end up affecting him just as much as it will affect Dean himself.

Sam, deciding to let Dean think he is slowly waking up, stirs a little and groans as he rolls onto his back and looks over at Dean. After a few minutes he breaks the silence and asks "Hey, man...you okay?"

"I'm picking Isabel up in a few days." Dean mumbles just loud enough so he won't have to repeat it.

Finally Sam speaks up. "So you turned in the form? And," he pauses and swallows hard on nothing. "And you're sure this is what you want?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that I don't want Isabel living in that place, and I'm sure that I want her to know she has someone who loves her, and I am sure that…that I love her." Dean stops then, all too aware of everything he just spilled to his brother. He looks up at his brother then, making eye contact for the first time since he stepped into the room. "Sam, I know I just saw her, but...I do...love her, you know?"

Sam suddenly realizes just how important this really is for Dean. And in that instant, that moment when Dean let his defenses down; he can see, really see, the raw emotion and love he has for his daughter; and suddenly Sam knows that Dean is doing the right thing, and that Dean needs support. Sam intends to give Dean that support.

"Okay, do you know what size clothes she'll need? She'll need new things. And diapers. Oh! And something for her to eat. I mean, I made an A in anatomy class, so I'm pretty sure you can't breastfeed." Sam says with a slightly bemused grin on his face.

"No, really?" Dean asks sarcastically, thankful for the slight change in mood. "I, uh…I'm not sure what size of clothes she wears. She's four months, so still pretty small." He smiles as he remembers holding Isabel in his arms just yesterday. "Amber says I'll need a car seat too. I have no idea where to start with that either."

"We can probably get one in a baby store. I'm sure there's one in this town somewhere," Sam says. "And clothes for babies are usually labeled by age for size, so that shouldn't be too hard."

"Yeah, Amber mentioned a store I should check out for clothes. Said they were really helpful there. I think she said it was on…Fifth Street. Yeah, Fifth and King."

Sam nods "Alright, we can go by there whenever you want."

Dean thinks it over for a minute. "Can we go now? I just want to make sure we have it all before I go get Isabel, and since we don't know when that'll be..."

Sam smiles a little. "Yeah, we can go now."

Dean stands up. "We can start with the store Amber told me about and get the basic stuff, then we can go to the Wal-Mart down the street and pick up diapers and formula."

Sam stands up as well; his mind still reeling with a bit of shock that he was having a conversation with Dean about diapers and formula. "Um, yeah, that sounds like a good plan." Sam reaches over to his bag, grabbing a fresh change of clothes and quickly tugging them on before walking toward the door. "Let's get going."

"Yeah, let's go." Dean says as he pulls the Impala keys out of his coat pocket and walks out of the room.

Sam follows Dean out, and they both climb in the car. The engine starts up a few seconds later and Dean pulls out of the motel parking lot, heading toward the intersection Amber had said the store was at.

When they pull up to the store, Sam casts a sideways glance at Dean. This was just all too surreal. He kept waiting for himself to wake up and realize it had all been a very freaky dream, but no. This really was happening. "Hey Dean?"

Dean turns and looks at him. "Yeah Sam?"

"Are you buying this stuff as you? I mean, I don't really think you should buy her stuff with stolen identities."

Dean turns and looks down at his hands resting on the steering wheel, he'd thought about it after Amber had told him what he needed to buy. But in the end, Isabel deserved so much more than stuff bought with fake identities. He wanted to buy the stuff _for_ her. Not as James Kendrick, but as Dean Winchester. It still won't be honest money, it's what he earned hustling pool the night before he got the call from Amber, and up until this moment he's never felt bad about not having any honest money.

He swallows and finally speaks up. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna pay for it in the cash I have left over."

Sam smiles a little. "I've got some cash too Dean, we can manage this. Now, let's go figure out what we want to get her." And with that Sam swings his door open and steps out onto the pavement, heading for the store without waiting for Dean.

Dean watches Sam get out and walk into the store without him, and he laughs as he climbs out of the car. As he walks into the shop behind Sam, Dean glances around and tries to take in all the stuff in the store. "Whoa...this is a lot of baby stuff..." he mumbles "Where do we even start?"

Sam looks up at him from a rack of clothing he'd been flipping through and laughs. "Let's start with clothes." he says as he holds up a little pink outfit with flowers and frills all over it, then laughs as a slow grimace spreads across Dean's face.

"My kid will never, _never_, wear _ruffles_ Sam. Never."

Sam laughs and puts the outfit down. "What if Isabel likes ruffles, pink, and lots of flowers?"

Dean considers it for a moment. "Maybe, when she's older...and if she knows that that's what she likes then she can pick that stuff. But for right now, I'm picking out the clothes and she is _not_ getting anything with ruffles."

"Fine, fine. So what do you think we should get her?" Sam asks as he continues to flip through the racks, glancing everything over.

"Ummm, I'm not sure yet." Dean said as he started to look through the clothes. Dean soon spots a small outfit, red with Bugs Bunny on it. "Oh, we are so getting this," he says picking up the outfit and tossing it to Sam. "Bugs Bunny is awesome."

Sam catches the outfit in question and looks it over. "Yeah, I guess he is, but Isabel is a girl, Dean."

"What, girls don't like Bugs Bunny?"

Sam sighs, unable to hold back a laugh. "Okay, okay, Bugs Bunny it is." He flips through some more things before lifting up a little pink nightgown with a single heart on the front. "Alright, compromise. Pink, but no ruffles."

Dean looks at the pink outfit for a minute, before sighing and nodding his approval. "Fine, I suppose _one_ pink outfit won't hurt."

Sam laughs and they continue to look throughout the store and Sam soon finds out how picky Dean becomes with what they are going to get Isabel.

"It's gotta be perfect, Sam. She's my daughter. It's _has_ to be perfect." Dean would say; the emotion showing in his voice every time he spoke the words.

"Perfect. Yeah, okay." Sam says as he holds up a light green jumper with a stitching of a bunny on it. "This alright?" He knows they only need a few more things. If he could just get Dean to agree to a couple more outfits, they could grab a car seat and travel crib, and get outta there.

Dean turns and looks at the jumper Sam is holding up. He nods slightly. Yeah, that'll work...if we just get a few more plain jumpers then I think that'll be enough clothes."

Sam laughs "Then a car seat and travel crib..."

"Travel crib?"

"Yeah, she's gotta sleep somewhere Dean. And before you even say it, it's been proven that it isn't safe for a baby to sleep in a normal bed, even _if_ a parent is there."

"Oh. Okay. Travel crib. Right," Dean says as he pulls a couple more jumpers off the rack and adds them to the pile of things they're going to buy. "Right, I think we're done here, now where are the car seats at?"

Sam turns and spots the car seats up against the back wall. "Looks like they're in the back..."

Dean nods and is already heading in that direction before Sam can finish talking.

Sam follows his brother into the back and they scan through the area trying to find a car seat that'll fit the impala and work for Isabel.

"Hey Dean? I think I found one..." Sam calls and Dean quickly walks over to him "It's a carrier, but when you go anywhere you can just click it into the base and it's a car seat too."

"Wow. Fancy, convenient…I like it." he laughs. "Okay, so we'll get that one. What was the last thing you said? Oh yeah, travel crib?"

"Yeah, they're…" Sam pauses and looks around the store for a second. "Over here." he says as he walks over to them.

Dean looks up at the simple travel crib. "Sam, that isn't gonna fit in my car..."

Sam rolls his eyes and laughs. "They're collapsible; it'll fit, and it should make it easier to take it down and put it up as we move around."

"Oh." Dean says and looks at the travel crib for a few more seconds. "Well, it works for me. We ready to get out of here?"

Sam laughs. "We better be. I don't think a lot more would fit into your car. Let's just get to the check out, and hope we have enough cash to pay for all of this."

Dean laughs with him as they walk up to the register to check out. He watches carefully as the price steadily increases to an astonishing amount, and is just grateful he's good at hustling pool.

Once everything's bought and paid for, they head out and load everything into the Impala.

They both climb into the car and Dean drives back to the motel room. After arriving and unloading all of Isabel's things, Dean sits on the edge of the bed, exhausted from the lack of sleep he has had since he got the phone call from Amber.

"You should get some sleep, man..." Sam says as he toes off his shoes and walks over to the other bed. "I know you haven't gotten much sleep lately, and once Isabel gets here things are gonna be crazy."

Dean sighs, knowing, not for the first time, that Sam was right. "I just, I can't sleep man. All I can do is think about her."

"I know Dean, but you gotta try. Because when she wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to be fed or held or changed? Especially changed? That right there; is gonna be your job."

"Yeah? Well what the hell are you gonna do?"

"As her uncle, I believe it'll be my job to spoil her," Sam grins at Dean.

Dean laughs and nods a little. "Is that so?"

"Oh, yes, it is so..." Sam says and lies back in his bed, grin still on his face "Now get some sleep."

Dean looks over at Sam, knowing how stubborn he can be. "Fine, I'll try."

Sam watches, making sure Dean's eyes are at least closed before reaching down into his bag and pulling out a book he'd been reading. He'd slept well enough the night before, so he figures he can just stay up and wake Dean in a few hours so they could grab something to eat.

Dean turns onto his side, back facing Sam and his thoughts start to take over again. Thoughts about all that was about to change, how his life was about to become so much different. Thoughts about being a dad, if he would even be a good dad.

After a little bit, Sam can still sense that Dean isn't sleeping, and he lets out a deep sigh. "You hungry man?"

"A little," comes Deans muffled reply.

"Alright," Sam says, closing his book. "Let's go grab something to eat."

-----

The call comes two days later. It comes in the morning and Dean reaches for his phone immediately, even through the sleepy daze he is currently in. Sometime last night he had passed out, his body no longer capable of going on with just a few randomly taken hours of sleep.

"Hello?" He says, holding the phone to his ear.

"Dean, great news. Everything's set." Amber says from the other line.

"Set?" Dean asked, still a bit fuzzy-brained. But the moment it hits him, he's sitting bolt upright in bed, feeling like he pumped up with energy from twenty red bulls. "You mean…with Isabel? Everything's set as in, as in I can finally go get her?" and he can't hide the hope in his voice.

"Yes, you can pick her up from the orphanage anytime today between now and four o'clock." Amber says. "Sorry to call so early, I thought you would want to know as soon as I did."

"No, I'm glad you called," Dean smiles, he can't wait to hold Isabel in his arms again, this time knowing she's coming back with him. "Thank you so much Amber...for everything."

"It was my pleasure Dean. I'm always happy to unite a family. And remember, any questions at all, just call."

"I will, thank you." Dean hangs up and turns to face Sam. "Sam! Wake up! We have to go, _now!_"

"Hmm..?" Sam groans still half asleep "Why?"

"Isabel, Sam! We can go get her now!" Dean says, already standing up and pulling on clean clothes.

Sam opens his eyes to meet Dean's, waking up quickly. "We can bring her back now?"

Dean grabs his keys. "Yes, Sam! Hurry up!"

Sam doesn't need to hear anymore, and he knows if he doesn't get moving soon, Dean might do something drastic. He quickly jumps up out of bed and drags on a fresh set of clothes before stumbling sleepily across the room and grabbing his shoes.

Once they're both fully clothed; Dean heads out, not even bothering to check that Sam's still with him. Everything was set on their end too. Dean had installed the car seat in the back, he'd set up the travel crib in the corner of the motel room, and he'd packed up a bag with some diapers, and a change of clothes for Isabel. Finally the moment he'd been waiting for was here, and he was prepared.

Sam gets into the car as Dean starts it up, wondering that if he hadn't gotten there in time if Dean would have just pulled out of the parking lot in his excitement, leaving Sam behind.

Sam has to quietly remind Dean to drive the speed limit a few times as they head for the orphanage, still getting there in only a matter of minutes.

Dean parks and shuts off the car, making no other movements for several moments. He looks out the windshield and up at the old building in front of them. His and Sam's entire lives were about to change. Not a small change; a big, very significant change. And somehow, after he got through his worries and fears about being a father and about messing everything up, he found that he knew, in the end, it was going to be worth it all.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean and Sam are waiting not so patiently in a small office inside the orphanage. Something about one last form Dean needed to sign, and then they'd bring Isabel to him. He'd signed the form, which meant now he was just waiting to finally become the official father of his daughter.

The door opens and both of the Winchester men turn to see Amber walk in holding Isabel in her arms. Dean stands up immediately; he can't wait any longer to hold his daughter again. He walks over to Amber and smiles as he looks down, meeting Isabel's bright green eyes.

Sam stands up and walks up behind Dean, for the first time laying eyes on his niece. "God, Dean...She's beautiful..."

"I know..." Dean says, smiling proudly as Amber gently hands Isabel over to him.

Amber turns to Sam, handing over an envelope. "Here, this is her birth certificate and some other documents that'll need to be kept safe; a few pages of her medical records, from vaccinations and the likes."

Sam takes the envelope and looks down at Isabel again. Dean had been right. She had his eyes.

Dean is completely lost in Isabel, rocking her back and forth gently in his arms as she looks up at him with big, beautiful eyes.

Sam looks up at Dean and smiles at how happy his brother is right now. "We uh...picked up all of her stuff the other day, almost everything but I was wondering if she's used to a certain formula or will she be okay with any kind we pick up?"

Amber smiles. A concerned uncle too? She could tell Isabel would never want for anything. "This place usually just goes with whatever they can get the best price on, so I'd say anything you buy will be fine."

"Alright..." Sam says "Everything is done? Dean has full custody now?"

Amber nods "Yes, he signed the last paper just a few minutes ago. Isabel is all yours now."

Dean smiles, the happiness showing in his eyes as Amber speaks. He looks back down at Isabel, he isn't worried about how he is gonna make it or if he'll make it at all. He knows those worries will come soon enough but right now he's just happy to have her in his arms.

"C'mon baby, time to get you out of this place," Dean says, looking down at Isabel. Then he looks up at Amber again. "I know I've already said it a million times, but really, thank you."

Amber just smiles at him and steps out of the doorway so they can pass. Isabel was in good hands. Anyone could see that.

Dean steps out of the room, knowing Sam will follow behind him. He turns when he reaches the end of the main doors giving Amber one last smile before walking out of the orphanage with his daughter in his arms.

Sam follows Dean out to the Impala. "So, you did figure out how to work the carrier, right?"

Dean sighs. "Yes Sam, I can work a simple carrier." he says as he opens up the back door and gently sets Isabel in the aforementioned carrier, checking that all buckles and fastens and restraints were properly latched and secure.

Sam watches, half supervising, half learning. Then he looks at Isabel again, and any remaining doubt he'd had about Dean bringing this little child into their life was gone. Sure, maybe it wasn't the best way for her to grow up, but he sure as hell knew that in the end, there wasn't a safer place for her to grow up than with two Winchesters.

Once Dean is confident that the carrier is secure he closes the door and steps over to the driver's side, getting in. He waits for Sam to get in before starting the car and backing out.

The drive back to the motel is quiet, the music is turned down to a reasonable volume and every few seconds the two Winchester men can hear a quiet noise from the backseat, each time causing a smile to spread across both of their faces.

Dean pulls to a stop in front of their motel room and shuts off the engine before looking back at Isabel again. "I can't believe this is really happening. I mean, come on. Out of the two of us, I'd have figured you for the father figure. What with that normal life you've always wanted." Dean says to Sam.

Sam nods and looks back at Isabel. "Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed it would be you either..." He looks back at Dean "But man, I think you're gonna be a great dad."

Dean smiles "Thanks Sammy, I hope so...Isabel deserves that."

Sam nods. "Okay, well, we ready to show her the current living quarters then?"

Dean turns to Sam, a bemused expression on his face. "Quarters man? You seriously need to lay off the history reading," he laughs. "But yeah, let's see if she likes any of the clothes we bought or anything."

"I'm sure she will." Sam says, getting out of the car and pulling out the keys to the motel room.

Dean gets out and walks over to the back seat, unlatching Isabel's carrier and getting her out of the car. He turns seeing Sam already has the door open and walks into their room. Setting the carrier down on the small table and unhooking it, he gets Isabel out, holding her in his arms.

"You wanna see what daddy bought you?" He asks her quietly, walking over to where they set all of her stuff.

Isabel looks up at him and makes a small gurgling sound that almost sounds like excitement to Dean's ears and he grins. He takes her over to the bag of clothing they have for her and pulls out the red Bugs Bunny outfit he'd picked out yesterday and held it up for Isabel to see. "What do you think huh? That little guy right there, Bugs Bunny? He's a genius. You'll see. When you're older we'll watch some of his shows, you'll see what I mean."

Sam laughs, watching his brother as he sits on his bed, "She should just feel lucky you didn't get her a little Metallica outfit."

Dean looks up at Sam. "Only because I didn't see one...I totally would have bought it if I had."

Sam would have laughed if he thought Dean was joking, but he knew Dean all too well. "Dude, you cannot dress a baby girl in Metallica. Or B.O.C., or Ozzi or anything you listen to. It would scar her for life man."

"No, it wouldn't! Dude it would be awesome!" Dean replies "Nothing is wrong with what I listen to..."

Sam laughs "Dean, she is a baby _girl."_

_"_Are you saying girls don't have good taste in music?" Dean says, sarcasm in his voice as he unconsciously lets Isabel play with his finger.

Sam smiles to himself as he watches Dean with Isabel. "No Dean, I'm not saying girls have bad taste in music. I'm saying you do." he grins.

"I do not!" he says as he turns back to Isabel. "Uncle Sammy here doesn't like our music, but don't you listen to him, he doesn't know good music if it bit him in the a-"

"Hey!" Sam cuts Dean off just in time, "Uh-uh, no way. No cussing in front of her."

Dean sighs, Sam was right...they probably shouldn't be swearing in front of Isabel. "Fine," he looks back down at her "...if it bit him in the _butt."_

_Sam laughs "That's better."_

Sam watches in silence as Dean shows Isabel a few more of the outfits they'd picked out the other day. Finally he speaks up. "We still need to get her some formula Dean. We didn't get any the other day, and we didn't stop on the way back today."

"Right, we uhh, should probably go do that." Dean nods in agreement, and Isabel giggles, making Dean grin even wider. "You wanna go to the store Izzie? Huh? Get some food?"

"I can just go if you want...and you two can stay here, looks like you were having fun." Sam laughs and stands up, walking over to where Dean laid the keys.

Dean looks up at Sam "We don't mind going...it's not that far, Sammy."

Sam smiles at the use of 'we'. "Alright, I was only trying to be helpful, but we can all go." he says as he grabs the keys.

"Yeah, we'll all go, but Sammy?"

"It's Sam."

"Whatever, this doesn't mean you get to drive, gimme the keys," Dean laughs.

Sam grins and shrugs "I just thought that you might want to sit in the back with Isabel..."

"Bulls-" Dean stops himself, looking down at Isabel for a second before returning his gaze to Sam "Bull...you just wanted to drive, hand over the keys."

"Fine." Sam says, pocketing the keys. "You'll get them after you've got her in the carrier and in the car." He walks out to the impala, grinning. This whole making Dean do all the daddy work could be fun, even if it did get him hit later on.

Dean glares after him for a moment before gently placing Isabel back in the carrier and securing all the buckles. "Don't you worry baby, we'll think of some way to wipe that smug grin off his face, and you'll see just how fun messing with uncle Sammy can be," he whispers to Isabel before grabbing her carrier and taking it out to the car.

After buckling Isabel in, Dean turns to see Sam in the driver's seat. "Get of the car and give me my keys..."

Sam laughs and starts up the car, he wasn't actually planning on pushing it any further than starting the car because believe it or not he did _not_ have a death wish.

"Sam, I swear to god if you don't get out of the car the payback is gonna be a lot worse then nair for shampoo and itching powder down your pants."

Sam narrows his eyes at Dean in mock challenge. "Just remember, Dean, superglue is my friend, not yours," he says as he slides over into the passenger seat, a smirk playing at his lips.

Dean glares at Sam before opening the door and getting into the car. "So...where are we going? Just the grocery store?"

Sam nods "Yeah, we've just got to pick up some formula for Isabel...maybe a few things for us to eat."

Dean nods as he shifts into drive and pulls out onto the road. A few minutes later he's shutting the engine off in front of Ray's Family Food Supply. He figures it's as close to a grocery store as they're going to get around here.

"So..." Sam says "I'll go in and get us some food and you head to get the formula, we'll meet at the cash register."

Dean nods in agreement as he gets out of the car. "Yeah, meet you at the register," he says as he reaches into the back seat and gets Isabel.

They both walk into the store, and head off in their different directions; Sam lugging a small handheld grocery basket as he heads for normal food, and Dean carefully walking with Isabel's carrier toward the baby aisle.

After grabbing the formula and food, Sam and Dean meet at the cash register, pay, and walk back out to the car. The drive back to the motel is quiet; Black Sabbath playing softly on the radio, and Isabel cooing every few seconds from the back seat as she plays with the small baby toy Dean couldn't help buying her when he saw it in the baby aisle.

When they get back to the motel, Sam gets out and grabs the grocery bags from the trunk while Dean takes Isabel out of the backseat and they both head inside.

"So what'd you get us to eat Sammy?"

"Wasn't really much I could get. Most of what they had there would need to be heated up, and we don't have a stove here. But I got you your favorite cereal _Deanie_. Lucky Charms."

"If you call me Deanie... ever again...I will make sure you can't say it, or anything else, anymore!" Dean says as he sits Isabel's carrier down, getting out the now sleeping Isabel and laying her gently in the travel crib they got.

"Oh, I'm scared...believe me." Sam laughs and looks over at the crib "She'll probably be hungry when she wakes up...it'd be smart if you knew how to make her a bottle before then."

"Why don't you learn how to make her bottle Sammy?"

"I'm not her father Dean," Sam says, careful to avoid making Dean homicidally angry by saying 'Deanie' again. "I'm supposed to spoil her." Sam grins at Dean.

"Oh I see Sam, you don't want to help take care of her? You don't love her? Alright, it's okay. I'm sure she'll understand. Probably won't cry too much when she finds out you wanted me to starve her."

"Dean! I never said that! God, you're such a baby," Sam says, grabbing the bottle they'd gotten for her, and he begins to read the instructions on the formula.

Dean lies back on the bed and smirks at how he got Sam to make the bottle. "I'm gonna get some sleep while she is...now that I know she's okay maybe I can actually sleep more than a few minutes at a time."

"Fine, but you're gonna learn this next time Dean," Sam says, trying to sound bitter, but really, he was just happy that Dean was finally going to get some decent rest. It had been days now, and he knew Dean desperately needed to sleep.

Dean nods slightly and closes his eyes, falling into a light sleep.

Sam finishes the bottle just as Isabel wakes up, crying and hungry. He walks over to the crib and picks her up. "Hey Isabel...it's okay, uncle Sam is here...shhh" He whispers, holding her against his chest with one arm and picking up the bottle with his other.

Isabel calms down a little, but is still kind of fussy, so Sam decides to step outside with her so that they won't disturb Dean. He quietly opens the door and goes out, shutting it softly behind him before raising the bottle to her lips and starting to feed her.

After she's done though, she's wide awake, and so Sam stays outside and walks around a little bit, rocking her gently and mumbling soft phrases of love and care to her.

After a while Dean wakes up and looks over to make sure Isabel is okay but finds that she isn't there. He quickly sits up and scans the room finding both Sam and Isabel gone. "Sam?!" Dean calls out, jumping out of the bed and walking into the bathroom, they aren't in there. He walks over to the table; Sam's weapons are still on the table. "Shit!"

Dean goes to the door, ripping it open and running outside, sheer panic written all over his features. "Sam?!" he calls out again, turning around and looking in every visible direction. He gets no answer and is just reaching for his own gun when he hears movement around the side of the building. He draws his weapon and carefully slides up against the front of the building and edges around the corner, coming face to face with "Sam!" he shouts, and Sam jumps and turns to face him, visibly shaken at the tone in Dean's voice.

"What?" he questions.

"What? What do you mean 'What'! I wake up and she's gone, and you're gone, and your weapons are all still there and you don't answer when I shout for you and…" he pauses for a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Dean, it's okay. Calm down. Isabel was upset and I didn't want to wake you so I took her out here...we were just walking around." Sam says.

"You have no protection on you Sam! Anything could happen!" Dean replies, his voice still louder than normal but not quite yelling anymore.

"I didn't think that stepping right outside would be all that dangerous Dean, I'm sorry okay? Next time I'll make sure I've at least got a knife. I just didn't think it'd be so great if anyone saw me carrying a baby and wielding a knife."

"Well you know what's out there Sam! You take my daughter outside, you take a weapon to protect you!" Dean says as he runs a hand through his hair, taking a few deep breaths before looking down at Isabel, reassuring himself that she is okay.

Sam mumbles another quick apology before offering Isabel back to Dean and returning inside the motel room. Dean stays outside for a few more minutes, just holding his daughter and calming down. Sam pulls out his laptop and starts punching away at the keys.

Dean whispers quietly to Isabel as he stands outside of the motel room, glad that she's alright. After a few more minutes he walks inside, heads over to the bed and sits down with Isabel still in his arms.

The silence stretches between them until finally Dean speaks up. "What are you typing?"

"Just doing some searches." Sam says distractedly.

Dean stays quiet for a moment. Searches. Cases. Sam was looking for their next hunt. Dean knew it had to happen sometime, but couldn't he have at least gotten a little bit of time off to adjust? "Oh, uhh, you finding anything?" he asks, not sure if he wants Sam to hear the hope in his voice or not. The hope that there's nothing. He knows they'll have to be leaving town soon, because any day now the motel was going to catch on about the fake name, but he hopes that when they do leave, it's not for a case. Not yet. He knows they'll have to start hunting again; probably soon. But for now, now he just wants to relax a little, spend time with Isabel, be there for her, make sure she knows he loves her.

Sam catches the tone in Dean's voice, along with all the thought and emotion behind it that Dean's trying to hide. "Just a couple of things, but I'd bet anything they're just kids playing pranks."

"You think so?" Dean asks hopefully. "I- I just don't want to start hunting so soon...it'd feel like we were abandoning her...and I can't do that."

Sam nods, understanding how Dean feels. "I don't see a hunt now but...Dean it won't last forever, there will be another one eventually...we have to be ready for that."

Dean nods. "I know Sammy, I know." he says as he readjusts his hold on Isabel, shifting her to his other arm and looking down at her; his eyes filled with adoration and silent promises.

Dean is about to ask if Sam wants to grab some dinner when his cell phone suddenly goes off. He picks it up with his free hand and checks the ID. "Uh-oh." he says, hesitating slightly before hitting the answer button.

"Dean? It's Amber..." says the voice on the other end of his phone.

She sounds worried, Dean thinks as fear of what she might have to say spreads through him. He swallows and speaks up "Hey Amber, is everything okay?"

Amber lets out a slightly forced laugh. "Listen, I really shouldn't be calling you, so I'm gonna get straight to the point. You have to get out of here. I know about the old address you gave me, and the cops know about the credit card and false identities. I'm not sure about that part, but they just left here. They're looking for you. I…I shouldn't be doing this, but I just, I know that you're what Isabel needs, and I don't want to see her lose that. Just get out of town, Dean. Today. You and your brother."

Shit. The cops were looking for him and Sam?!

"Amber..." Dean starts but doesn't know how to thank her for calling him, she was saving all three of them.

"Dean, just go. They're already on their way there," Amber says, her voice rushed and full of worry.

"We owe you," he says quickly before snapping the phone shut and jumping up going over and laying Isabel in her carrier. "Come on Sam, time to go."

"What? Dean, what's going on?" Sam asks, but he's already got the laptop closed, put up, and is grabbing his bags.

Dean's gathering up Isabel's things and shoving them back in her bag. "Cops, they're on their way."

---

Not even five minutes later there is a loud knock at the door. "This is the Dove Creek police department, open the door!!"


	4. Chapter 4

The police wait all of five seconds before kicking in the door and entering, weapons drawn. "It's empty," one of them shouts to the Sergeant standing outside. "They're already gone."

Sam and Dean had heard the sirens as they pulled out of the motel parking lot; they were aware they didn't have much of a head start but it would have to do.

"We gotta get out of town, there aren't many '67 impalas around here and if they know your car we'll be easy to spot." Sam says, looking back to check on Isabel again.

"I'm heading for the highway..." Dean says, looking in the rearview mirror to see if any of the cops were on their tail. So far so good.

---

A few hours later, they judge they're far enough away to be able to risk stopping for a bit, so Dean starts looking around for a fairly decent looking motel. They had to up their standards now that Isabel was around. After a few minutes of looking, Dean pulls to a stop in front of a somewhat well kept, cheap motel. He goes in, booking a room for the night. They grab their bags, get Isabel from the backseat, and head into the room, getting settled.

While they'd been driving, Sam had found an article in a newspaper that sounded fairly normal at surface level, but had just enough elements to qualify it for a preliminary investigation. Whether Dean liked it or not, they might have just found a case, and he knew no matter how much he wanted to delay things, if he knew there was a case to be dealt with, he was going to deal with it. For now he was trying not to think about it though.

Dean picks Isabel up as she starts crying. "What does she need Sam?"

"Like I know? Listen to the cry; it's either diaper, food, or attention."

"Well, thanks, I couldn't have figured that one out on my own." Dean says sarcastically, rocking her in his arm to try and stop her crying. "Shh...Dad's here." Dean says gently, looking down at her and smiling.

Sam turns away so that Dean doesn't see the huge grin spread across his face. Dean was going a bit soft, and Sam thought it was about time. He listens as Isabel quickly quiets down, and is soon giggling at her fathers antics.

Dean can't help the smile the spreads across his face as he hears Isabel giggling. He holds her in one arm as he play with her fingers, letting her wrap her hand around his index finger.

Sam finishes cleaning his gun and snaps a clip back in. "Guess it was the attention then, huh?"

"Yeah, guess so," Dean smiles up at Sam. "Somehow I just kinda knew. I don't know, it's hard to explain, but when I picked her up, I just kinda knew that all she wanted was a little bounce and she'd be okay."

Sam smiles and sets his gun down. "Must be a dad thing."

Dean grins and looks down at Isabel, still letting her play with his fingers. "Yeah, I guess so..."

After a long pause that doesn't quite reach the level of awkward silence, but comes damn close, Dean finally speaks up. "So, uhh, this case. How is it going to work?"

"Well, I was kinda thinking that research is never hard or dangerous, if you wanted she could come with is for that, but Dean, I know you already know there's no way she's ever coming on the actual hunting part."

Dean walks over to one of the beds and sits down. "No way in hell, I am _not_ putting her into that."

Sam looks at Isabel. "So one of us will have to stay with her...unless you want to trust some stranger to watch her why we're gone."

"No way, that is so far from being an option here. No, you'll stay with here while I go out and finish this thing off."

Sam looks up at Dean "No, I think I should go out and do it. You can stay here with Isabel."

"No, Sammy...I'll go out. I trust you, she'll be okay if you're here" Dean says, knowing that he could never let Sam go out on a hunt on his own.

"Dean...you're her dad. If something ever, ya know...happened to you..." Sam stops, Isabel wouldn't be the only one who'd be lost if something happened to Dean. "She, uh she needs her dad so just let me do this, okay?"

"Nothing's gonna happen to me Sammy…" and his voice holds the slightest shake when he speaks. He knows that Sam's right, he had to think of Isabel now, but there was just no way. Just like he'd absolutely never take Isabel into a hunt, there was no way in hell he was sending his kid brother off all alone to face god knows what. No. This would be his job; he'd just have to find a way to make sure he always came home. Always.

"You don't know that! Dean, you aren't invincible...you could get hurt!" Sam says, wishing he didn't have to have this conversation because in all honesty Dean had always seemed indestructible to him.

"Well so could you Sam! And I'm not having that on my record, I'm done having lives on my conscience!" And well, shit, he really hadn't meant to admit that out loud. Sam didn't know about that hunt. Sam had been at college, and the important thing had been that he and John had made it out alive, so Dean hadn't ever bothered Sam with it.

Sam opens his mouth to shout back, but his words catch in his throat when he realizes exactly what Dean had just said. All he can force out is a simple "What?"

Dean freezes like a deer caught in headlights, working his throat, trying to force out words. "End of discussion Sam. You stay. I go. That's final."

"No!" Sam yells, pushing away what Dean said about lives on his conscience and just tries to talk him out of going on the hunt alone. "What makes my life more valuable than yours? I can do this!"

"Sam you have a shot at normal. Me? I know I'll never be there. Hell, I'm not sure I'd want to be. I never wanted this life for you. You had Stanford, you had Jess, hell Sam, you even had friends. You were happy. You had a life. And someday you're going to have that again. So no, you're not doing this."

Sam sighs and briefly wonders why the hell Stanford always came up when they got into an argument. "Dean, I am not the one with a four month old daughter! I could never do for her what you do...she needs you!"

And Dean realizes they're at a draw. No Winchester ever gives up on a fight, so this could very well drag on for hours. He pauses, pretending to consider everything Sam's saying, but really he already knows the only way to end this and still have it his way in the end is to agree. He lets out a heavy sigh and glances from Sam to Isabel. "You're right. I…I have to think of her too now…"

Sam looks down at Isabel and smiles. "Yeah Dean, for Isabel."

Dean nods and walks over to them, taking Isabel from Sam's arms and holding her close to his chest. He looks over at Sam and nods, whether he likes this or not he knows what has to be done.

Sam turns away from Dean to search for the laptop, and to hide his smile of satisfaction at having won their little debate.

"So I figure we should start off normal, like with every other case. The basic research and digging won't hurt her, and then after we figure out if something's really going on, we'll figure out where to go from there." Sam says nonchalantly to Dean.

Dean nods "Sounds like a good plan, any idea what we're looking for?"

"Not really, the usual...anything weird, out of the ordinary…ya know…" Sam says as he walks over to the table, pulling out the laptop and opening it.

"No really? You mean we're not looking for bunny rabbits and fluffy clouds?"

Sam just levels a slightly bemused glance at Dean and starts doing a few internet searches to see if they could learn anything more about the case before heading out into the field.

---

After a few hours of research, Sam looks over at Dean who is lying awake beside the now sleeping Isabel, gently running his fingers against her baby smooth skin. "I think I need a coffee break."

Dean lifts his head off the bed and looks at Sam. "Sounds good. We'll come along. Just give me a minute to get her ready," Dean says as he sits up and gently picks up Isabel, trying not to wake her.

Sam nods and shuts the laptop before standing up and walking over to his bed. He picks up his shoes and slips them on, looking over at Dean to see him putting Isabel in her carrier as he tries not to wake her.

Dean snaps the buckle closed on her carrier and picks it up. "Let's go. I think I saw a place on the way into town." Dean says as he opens the motel door and walks out to the Impala.

Sam follows him out and helps him get the carrier situated in the backseat before they both get in.

The drive to the coffee shop isn't long and once they're all out of the Impala Dean takes a seat at one of the outside tables, sitting Isabel's carrier in the seat beside him.

"Hmm...I think she wants to come with me" Sam says with a smile as he notices Isabel is slowly starting to wake up.

Dean looks down at a bleary eyed Isabel and can't help but grin. "D'you wanna go with Uncle Sammy? Huh? Alright, but don't let him talk you into getting any of that frilly coffee he likes. You're going to be raised properly." He laughs a little and looks up at Sam, nodding slightly.

Sam laughs and picks up Isabel's carrier mumbling to her quietly as he walks into the coffee shop.

Dean smiles as he watches Sam walk away carrying Isabel. He still can't believe how fast things have changed.

Dean looks around at the people at other tables while he waits for Sam to get back from placing their order. He returns the smile of a waitress who's clearing the table next to him, but keeps looking around waiting for Sam to get back with Isabel.

Dean doesn't take any further notice of the waitress until she is at his table, leaning over and looking at him.

"You new in town? Haven't seen you around before..." The young brunette says with a flirtatious smile as she brushes some hair behind her ear.

Dean turns and focuses in on her. Tall and slim, with a low cut shirt, she leans down toward him. He looks up into her eyes. "Yeah, just here for a few days. Me and my brother figured we'd see how the coffee was here." He ventures another look past her, toward the door, trying to see if Sam was coming back.

She nods and leans closer to him, making sure he can see her ample cleavage. "I could show you around town if you want...could make sure you have some fun while you're here."

Deans just responding when Sam returns with Isabel. "No, that's alright. Seems pretty easy to navigate." Then he's ignoring her and taking Isabel back from Sam. "Did you have fun with Uncle Sammy?" he says as he smiles down at her.

Sam glances at the waitress and smiles a little, noticing how Dean is completely uninterested.

The waitress sighs a little as she notices the same and walks over to the next table, cleaning it off but turning every few minutes to glance back at Dean.

Sam sits down and gives Dean a curious look, but doesn't say anything. If Dean was starting to pass on the flirty waitresses that were always after him, then things really must be changing.

Dean can feel Sam's eyes on him and he looks up. "What?"

Sam laughs and shrugs a little, taking a sip of his coffee. He looks over at Isabel and smiles, reaching over to play with her. "Hey Izzie..."

Dean smiles proudly as Isabel look up at Sam, smiling and giggling. He knew Sam thought it was weird of him not to go after that desperate waitress, but after seeing Isabel, after having her for his very own, he knew his life had changed, and had to change. Sure, maybe when she was a little older, maybe when he could stand to be away from her for any good length of time. But not now. Right now all he wanted was to hold Isabel in his arms and be there for her always, and let her know that no matter what he'd always love her.

Sam can practically hear Dean's thoughts; he can see his brother looking down at Isabel with love in his eyes and knows that now Dean's first priority is Isabel. He can see that the rest doesn't matter to Dean, not as long as he has Isabel with him.

Dean picks up his coffee and takes a sip of it before grimacing. "Dude, tell me you didn't seriously get me a peppermint coffee?!" And he glares as Sam chokes on his laughter.

"It's called 'Candy Cane Lane'." Sam gasps out around his laughter. "They're testing it out for the end of the year when the holidays come around."

"You, you're dead Sammy. So fu-…freaking dead you can't even imagine." But despite the fact that Sam had messed with his life support, he couldn't help but grin when he saw the odd look Isabel was giving him for having yelled at Sam.

Sam is still laughing, the look on Dean's face having been priceless. The bad thing was he would most likely regret this at least once in the next forty-eight hours 'cause payback was a bitch...especially when it involved any of the Winchesters.

Dean just shakes his head at Sam and sips the imitation coffee. It really wasn't totally awful, though he'd never admit it to Sam.

When they'd had a decent break, full of talk and laughter and empty coffee cups, they knew it was time to get back to the research. They had already found a good bit of information beforehand. Now they really just needed to sort through it, sort out truth from myth, and start the legwork part of the investigation.

"So..." Dean says, looking up at Sam "What do we know about the case so far?" he puts Isabel in her carrier and hands her a small baby toy to play with while he and Sam talk.

"Well, we're pretty certain that these deaths are revenge killings. They only started up about six weeks ago, so it's probably someone who died recently, or whose burial ground has recently been disturbed. When we get back, I'll hack the local records; see if there's anyone who died violently about six or seven weeks ago."

"Is there any connection between the victims?" Dean asks, taking another sip of the coffee, because girly or not he still needed his caffeine.

"I'm not sure yet, I'm still working on it...I don't see anything right now, but I mean there has to be something." Sam says, looking up at Dean. "Any chance you could drop me off at the library on the way back to the motel? I wanna look at some old newspapers."

"Not a problem, but when you get back, can you hack the local police and courthouse records? I think I remember reading somewhere that one of the victims was a prosecutor. It's a long shot, but maybe someone wasn't too happy with the way their trial turned out?"

"Sure. I shouldn't be too long at the library, so we'll check that out when I get back."

"Okay, are you ready to go then?" Dean asks, glancing down at Isabel to make sure she is okay.

Sam nods and stands up, picking up his coffee cup and tossing it into the trash can. "Yeah, let's get out of here..."

Dean tosses his cup in the trash too before picking up Isabel's carrier and walking back over to the Impala to get her tucked safely away.

Dean and Sam climb in and Dean starts up the engine, pulling out and driving back into town in search of the library.

It doesn't take long to find the library and Dean is soon parking in front of the building. "You'll call me when you're ready?"

"Yeah, of course..." Sam says, smiling as he gets out of the car and shuts the door. He peaks back in the open window "Talk to you later Dean"

Dean gives a slight nod as he shifts into drive. "Later." He watches Sam walk into the building before he pulls away from the curb and heads back to the motel.

---

Dean's phone goes off and he reaches over, grabbing it and flipping it open. "Hey."

"Hey, so I think I found something..." Sam says from the other end of the phone as he walks out of the front doors to the library. "I would say it is pretty likely that the deaths were for revenge."

Dean nods even though Sam can't see him. "Yeah, we were pretty certain of that before, but what did you find?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "All of the victims have been related to someone who was on a jury on the same day...March tenth of last year...looks like a pretty simple case...that is if it turns out like I think it will."

"Well is this just gonna be Sammy's little secret? Or do I get to know too?" Dean asks as he holds the phone between his shoulder and ear, placing Isabel back in her carrier and heading out to the car so that they can go pick up Sam.

Sam sighs. "I was going to tell you when you got here."

Dean buckles the carrier into the backseat and gets in the front as he talks. "Or you could tell me now, and I can start thinking of ways to finish off this sucker."

"Dean...we said I was gonna do the hunting, you're staying with Isabel, remember?" Sam asks, taking a seat on one of the bottom steps outside.

Dean takes a deep breath. He needs to stay patient with Sam so he could know what was going on, and carry out his plan without Sam ever suspecting. "I know that Sam. But I still need to know everything so that I can come up with, or I can help you come up with, a way to stop this. You can't keep me out of the loop on this Sam. What if something happens to you out there, huh? I need to know what I'm dealing with if it comes down to that."

Sam sits his bag down beside him. "Dean, nothing is gonna happen to me. I know how to hunt...you know that, you're the one that made sure I could handle it."

Dean starts up the engine and grips the steering wheel tight. Sam was going to be difficult about this. "Nothing's going to happen? Just like nothing should have happened before you got kidnapped by those hillbilly freaks? Or like when that house tried to kill us and I almost lost you because of a freaking lamp?! Or what about when that Shtriga attacked you? Sam, nothing's ever supposed to happen, but that doesn't mean it won't. And . . . And I can't risk that happening this time okay? So just, tell me. Just in case…"

Sam sighs as he notices some people walk past him. "I can't tell you right now man...we can talk about it when you get here in a few, okay?"

Dean suppresses another sigh, "Yeah, sure. I'm on my way." He snaps his phone shut, tosses it onto the seat beside him, and pulls out of the motel parking lot. Occasionally he focuses in on the rearview mirror, checking on Isabel. "Your Uncle Sammy is a pretty stubborn bas- … little brother you know. But even if he never listens to me, you're gonna have to listen to him while I'm gone alright? I promise I'll be back as soon as possible." Promise. Shit, he really hopes he can keep that promise. He doesn't want to be like their dad. He doesn't want to turn out like John…

Sam sits on the stairs waiting to hear the familiar roar of the Impala pulling up. When Dean arrives only minutes later Sam stands and walks over to the car, quickly opening the door and getting in. "Hey."

"Hey," Dean says as he pulls back away from the curb and starts driving again. "Alright, spill it. What are we dealing with, who is it, and do we know where it is?"

"I'm not sure who it is yet, it'll be really easy to find out but the library was closing so I had to go. Once we know who it is then we'll just have to find out where that person is buried and hopefully just burn the bones." Sam says, turning and looking back at Isabel, already an instinct.

Dean nods a little. Figure out who it is, and really everything should be pretty easy from there. "Sounds good. So, back to the motel?"

"Yeah, I'll get on the laptop and look this up real quick, and then it should be a simple salt and burn after that."

"Should be…" Dean echoes. But what if it wasn't? It wasn't unheard of to find a spirit or ghost haunting its gravesite. And the angry ones didn't like it when you tried to banish them back to where they came from. No, even a salt and burn wasn't a sure thing. He was going to have to start thinking about how he was going to do this.

Isabel is already asleep in her carrier when they get back to the motel, both Sam and Dean getting out quietly so they don't wake her.

Dean takes the carrier, smiling down at how peaceful she looks, and he knows he would do anything to keep that look on her face forever.

He follows Sam into their room and very carefully gets her out of the carrier and walks over to her crib. He smiles down at her again, laying a gently whisper of a kiss to her forehead before bending down and laying her in the crib, and tugging her blanket over her.

Sam watches his brother tuck Isabel in before sitting down at the table and opening the laptop. "I don't think the research will take me long..." He says quietly, pulling out the papers he printed out at the library.

Dean nods and sits down on his bed, Izzie's crib is right beside the bed; he'd pulled it closer this afternoon, wanting to be close in case she needed him.

Dean watches in silence as Sam punches away at the keys of the laptop, clicking here, saving there. He's actually starting to doze off a little when he hears a triumphant outcry from Sam.

"Bingo. We got it."

Dean stands up and quietly walks over to read the screen over Sam's shoulder. "Who is it?"

"Seriously?" Sam asks "You came over here, looked at the same thing I did but instead of reading you just ask me to tell you what it says?"

Dean grins. "Pretty much. Unless college boy is trying to tell me he can't read?" Dean jokes. He'd read the name on the screen, but sometimes Sam had a strange way of putting things together, and when Dean tried to follow his path, he got lost. Like when they were little, and Dean would take Sam for the grocery shopping, and he'd let Sam pick out any one thing he wanted, just as a special treat. One day Sam had been trying to decide between cookies, or snack cakes. Then he'd seen a box of Capri-Sun juice drinks, and suddenly yelled at Dean that he wanted a Lunchable. Yeah. Sam's thought processes could sometimes be a little off the beaten path.

Sam laughs and looks back to the screen "Linda Shepard here gets accused of murdering her husband and what seems to be his mistress, Carrie Parnell. It makes sense right, I mean she catches them, is of course angry so she kills them both. The day after she is killed for the deaths of both her husband and Carrie, it is found that she is innocent...apparently Carrie's boyfriend found them, not Linda."

"Dude, that is one messed up group. Okay, so, Linda dies for the boyfriend's crime…why isn't the boyfriend dead? That'd be who I'd go after. I mean, he didn't step up, didn't confess…not that anyone probably would, but still. I'd go after the real reason I was charged."

"I don't know, maybe I'll ask her before I burn her bones..." Sam laughs. "Maybe she's saving him for last, wanting to make him afraid before she finally goes after him."

"Well either way, let's figure out where she's buried at and then get some rest. We're out of rock salt, and the stores are closed. You'll have to go after her tomorrow night."

"I thought you just bought some more rock salt?" Sam questions, as he reads further into the article, trying to find where she was buried.

"Oh, right, I uhh, I did. But it…spilt. I accidentally dropped it packing up the other day and it busted open. Forgot about it till just now. Don't worry. We'll pick some more up at the store tomorrow. Let's just sleep for tonight."

"I'm just gonna find out where she's buried before I catch some sleep..." Sam says but after fifteen minutes of looking for a burial site and finding nothing he decides he'll try again in the morning. He's exhausted and just wants to lay back and let sleep consume him.

"Come on Sam, just shut it down for the night. We'll find it tomorrow." Dean says as he checks on Isabel one more time before crawling into his own bed.

"Yeah, yeah alright," comes the exhausted reply.

Dean lays awake, watching Sam shut everything down, turn off the lights, and crawl into his own bed.

"Goodnight Sam. G'night Izzie." Dean whispers.

"Night Dean." Sam replies, followed quickly by a yawn as he rolls over, his back facing Dean.

Dean lies back, looking up at the ceiling, unable or maybe just unwilling to sleep right now. He hears Sam's breathing even out and he knows the second Sam is asleep. When they were younger he used to make sure Sam could go to sleep before he even thought about closing his eyes.

Dean still can't sleep however. He's starting to second guess himself, something he's never done before, and something that's dangerous for a hunter to do. But never the less, that's what he was doing. Maybe he should just let Sam go? What if something did go wrong and Isabel lost her father too? But no, if something went wrong, he'd rather it be him than Sam. No way could he send Sam out into something without anyone there to back him up. He had always known he would do anything for Sam, even die for him…but now that secret promise would affect the life of another. Dean found himself torn between the two most important people in his life, and he wasn't sure there was a solution that would leave them both unharmed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** We are so terribly sorry that it has taken us so long to update. Our amazing beta was out of town for a few weeks, but also both pyromaniac (the other author) and myself (gdspgcfan) have recently gotten jobs, and well, needless to say, fulltime school, and many many hours at work, doesn't leave us much free time in which to write. We will try to be more prompt with our next chapter. Please forgive, and we hope this was worth the wait.

* * *

Sam wakes up early the next morning; first to the sound of soft spoken words and softer giggles; and second, to the sight of a tired looking Dean sitting at the motel desk holding Isabel close, and mumbling to her as he tips the bottle to her mouth to feed her. 

Sam rubs at his eyes as he sits up. "Morning...how long have you two been up?"

Dean looks up at his brother, smiling sleepily. "A while...she was hungry..."

Sam sits up and looks at Dean, assessing his condition. "Did you sleep at all?" he asks, quickly adding; "The truth Dean, not what you want me to hear, but the truth."

Dean looks down at Isabel, taking his time responding. "I…I got a little bit. I think..."

"Look..." Sam says "Why don't you let me take care of her for a few hours...you can grab some sleep, okay?"

Dean looks down at Isabel, considering it. It isn't that he doesn't trust Sam, 'cause he does…but he isn't sure he wants to let Isabel go right now...as much as he likes his sleep he knows that being with her like this is something he needs to do as a dad.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine, really. And we have things to do today anyway, right?" He smiles reassuringly. "I'll be fine Sammy."

Sam looks over, worried about his brother. "I can do them on my own...and she'll be fine...probably sleep the entire time anyway."

"I said I'm fine, Sam." Dean says, smile friendly, but tone and eyes filled with silent warning, and Sam takes the hint.

"I was only offering. Right, so. We need to check some more records, and find out what the hell they did with this girl's body after they executed her. Track down the actual grave so I know where to go later. And apparently, replace the rock salt that I didn't know we were out of." Sam says, still a tad bit suspicious about that last part.

"Well now you know..." Dean looks down at Isabel and takes the empty bottle gently away from her, setting it on the table.

Sam raises an eyebrow but doesn't push it. "Yeah, anyways...if we find out where she was buried then it shouldn't be hard for me to take care of the bones."

Dean can't stop himself from pausing at that. He doesn't want to give away that he has no intention of ever actually letting Sam do this on his own, but he does actually feel a little bad flat out lying to Sam. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, it shouldn't be too hard at all once we know where to be."

Sam nods. "You wanna go grab a shower or anything?"

Dean lays Isabel gently against his chest as he starts to pat her back, burping her. "Maybe in a minute...she should be pretty tired by now, although…" he says, smiling ruefully, "She should have been tired a few hours ago."

Sam grins back. "Well she wouldn't be your daughter if she weren't just as obstinate and difficult as you are." He says. "I can't get you to sleep; you can't get her to sleep. You two make a great pair."

Dean laughs and pats Isabel's back again gently. "What can I say? We do what we want."

"Yeah, I believe that's the problem." Sam says, chuckling quietly.

Dean simply rolls his eyes in response as he stands up and places Isabel back into her crib. "I'm gonna grab that shower real quick, and then we can start in on today's 'to do' list."

Sam nods and looks over at Isabel already letting her heavy eyes fall closed. "I'll keep an eye on her..."

"Okay, if she starts crying just knock on the door and I'll come take care of it..." Dean says, picking up his duffel with his clothes and other necessities in it.

"Dean, I can handle her for a few minutes." Sam says, looking up at his brother.

"I know man, sorry." Dean says shrugging a little "I just...she's my little girl Sam..."

Sam smiles softly. "Yeah man, I know. So hurry it up. We've got better things to do."

Dean laughs a little and shakes his head as he walks into the bathroom and kicks the door closed. He spends just enough time in the shower to get himself washed up, and then he's out and drying off. He trusted Sam with Isabel, really he did. He didn't, however, trust Sam not to end up running off to play the martyr while Dean was otherwise occupied in some way.

Dean finishes drying off and grabs some jeans and an old T-shirt out of his bag. He quickly puts them on and grabs his tooth brush, putting some tooth paste on it and starting to brush his teeth as he opens the bathroom door and tossed the duffle out onto the floor. He flashes a quick look over at Isabel's crib to make sure she's alright before stepping back into the bathroom.

When he's all done with everything, he steps back out and grabs his keys.

"Ready for some library research? We'll start there. Dig through a few records and see if we can't find her final resting spot eh?"

"Sounds good...but do we want to wake her?" Sam motions a hand toward Isabel's crib. "I could go...and just finish the hunt after I find out where she's buried...that way it'd be done before it got too late."

Dean thinks fast. "But I feel like I haven't done anything on this hunt…Look, let me go to the library huh? I can do the research bit too you know. I'm not a total waste of space Sam. Besides, you've been wanting some time with her lately, I can tell. I'll go, and feel like I helped, and you'll get some time with her."

"I don't know, Dean." Sam says, looking up at his brother. "And since when have you ever volunteered to do research?"

"Hey, I'm not saying it's entertaining by any means...I'd rather be there taking care of business after you've researched everything, and all I have to do is kill the bad thing. But I can't do that this time can I? You won't let me. And if you do the research too...then why the hell am I even here? Come on Sammy, I just don't want to be a waste of time here."

Sam sighs, he knows where his brother is coming from. "Alright, fine...you can go do the research but then you have to let me go tonight, no complaints or trying to get out of it at the last minute...I know you were planning on something."

Dean laughs a little. "What the hell could I do to stop you? I'll be here with Isabel because she can't be left alone. And you'll go off and play hero." He shrugs a little; almost sadly. "It's really the only way it can play out Sam." He shrugs his jacket on and goes over to the door, opening it up. "See you in a bit..." he looks down at Isabel and whispers "Bye Izzie..." and then he's out the door, and climbing into the Impala.

Sam hears the Impala start up as he looks over at Isabel. She's still fast asleep, her tiny stomach moving with each intake of breath.

Dean drives away from the motel quickly...before Sam could change his mind. Dean's in control of this hunt again, finally, and he knows he can't go back to the motel until everything is over. He almost hadn't gotten away with it. Sam really was too smart for his own good sometimes. But he was out now. And he really could research...most of the time.

He pulls up in front of the library and parks, getting out and walking into the large building. He'll start here, and if he can't find anything, he'll just go charm someone down at the court offices or something.

Dean walks over to where the computers are lined up against the wall and takes a seat at one of the three.

"Time to get to work, Dean." He mumbles to himself. He pulls up the library catalog, and looks up a few different record logs that should, in all due theory, be able to help him figure out where this chick is buried. He scribbles down the call numbers and goes over to the sections of shelving, searching through for the right logs.

Once he finds what he is looking for, he finds a table near the back of the library and lays out everything on the table. He takes a seat and starts to read over the logbooks. It looks like she had been buried in an old field in the downtown parts of the city; apparently they didn't want to bury a murderer next to the resting places of innocent people.

He grabs a scrap piece of paper, and writes down the address of the field. He then stashes the logs back on the shelf, in the wrong place just in case Sam decides to come check things out himself. Then he catches another library goer's attention, and gets directions to the field.

Once he's back in the Impala, he starts it up, and begins following the guy's directions. His mind is filled with a small internal war over what he's doing...but he needs both Sam and Isabel safe. Isabel was safe with either him or Sam, and Sam was safe at the motel. So really the only option was for Sam to stay at the motel with Isabel while Dean took care of things this time.

He pulls to a stop in an alleyway about a block from the field and gets out, walking to the trunk.

Dean grabs all of his necessities out of the trunk and picks up a gun, putting it in the back of the waistband of his jeans. Just in case. His thoughts run back to Isabel and he has to stop himself, if he doesn't stay focused on the job then it'll just end up hurting everyone when he gets injured...if not worse.

"Don't have time to think like that, Dean." he says out loud, giving himself a mental kick for losing focus and talking to himself. He slams the trunk shut after doing a double check that he had the salt, lighter fluid, and matches.

"Let's just hope this is as simple as Sam said." An easy salt and burn. Hopefully the hardest part would be the digging.

Dean shoves all of the supplies into his duffel and puts it over his shoulder and turns, walking towards the field. He'd left his cell in the car, he hopes he won't end up needing it but he knew Sam would be calling any minute now...he would know by now and he would be pissed about it.

He takes a deep breath, forcing all stray thoughts from his mind once again. He walks for a good bit of time, out toward the middle of the field. This place seemed to be some kind of makeshift cemetery. There are markers here and there; ought to make his job just a little easier. He reads them as he walks past, recognizing a name here or there from news stories about murder trials and what not.

When he finds the grave he's looking for, he sets his bag down beside the grave and pushes the shovel into the ground. He slips his jacket off, setting it on the duffel and grabs the shovel handle again to start digging.

He works as fast as he can. He'd never realized before just how much easier this was when both he and Sam were there to dig. It takes longer than he'd anticipated, and a glance at the sun confirmed that it was beginning to set. He knows he must have at least twenty missed calls from Sam on his cell phone by now, but he knows this is what he needs to do.

Once he has got the last shovel full of dirt out and is looking down at the body of the woman who has been causing all the chaos, he lifts himself out of the grave and grabs the salt, lighter fluid and a pack of matches. He dumps the salt and lighter fluid onto the decaying body and swallows as he lights a few matches, tossing them into the grave and watching as the fire starts to consume year-old bones.

Dean surveys the area around him… it's odd that she hasn't shown up to protect her body… her only link to staying in this world. She wanted revenge so bad she couldn't move on until they were all dead… but why hasn't she tried to stop him from getting rid of her? Something feels a little odd about it all, but he just figures he's over-analyzing everything. He stares into the center of the now dying fire for a few minutes before filling in the grave with freshly-dug soil and heading back toward the car.

As he gets closer, he gets the distinct feeling that someone is watching him… following him… but looking around he can't see anyone. He reaches the Impala and starts loading everything back into the trunk when all of a sudden he's smacked across the back of his head.

"OW! Crap!" he curses, spinning around into a defensive position to confront his attacker.

"That's what you get you bastard!" Sam spits at him, managing to look furious, pissed, worried and relieved all at the same time, while still keeping hold of the obvious authority in this particular situation. "I should hit you again just to make sure it sinks in."

"What the hell!?" Dean says, completely mystified and then freaked out. "Sam, where's Isabel!?" he says in a panic as he sees that Sam isn't holding her. He starts walking around the car, seeing if he'd set her carrier down or something.

"Relax, she's fine." Sam says as he walks over to the edge of the alleyway and picks up her carrier. "She fell asleep, and I didn't want to wake her up when I beat your ass for lying and running off on this hero mentality mission of yours!! How could you do that?"

Dean moves swiftly over to Isabel's carrier, checking for any sign of her being hurt before looking up at Sam. "What the hell is wrong with you!? What if things had gone wrong and I was still dealing with a pissed off spirit! How could you bring her here knowing it might not be safe?"

"How could I leave _you_ here alone not knowing if you were safe?"

"I'm not the one who matters here Sam! She is!"

"You matter to me!"

"She should matter more!"

"I couldn't leave you here, and I couldn't leave her there. I had to make a decision! If you hadn't been such a dumbass in the first place…And if you'd come back to the motel like you were _supposed_ to…Then we wouldn't be having this problem!"

"Sam, this isn't about me! Don't you understand? I did this for you and Isabel...you two needed to be back at the motel, safe! I couldn't let you come...you're as much my responsibility as she is and I am not gonna let anything happen to either of you!" Dean sighs, running a hand through the spikes in his hair as he takes a deep breath "Just get your ass in the car we can talk about it when we get back to the motel."

With that, Dean takes Isabel from Sam, still pissed he'd brought her, and goes over to the Impala. Despite his anger he gently places her carrier into the backseat before climbing into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

Sam grudgingly gets into the car and glares at Dean. "I don't want to wait and talk about it at the motel Dean. You shouldn't have tried to play the hero. What if something had happened? What then? Isabel would be an orphan. An _orphan_ Dean. Like… Like we are now." Sam lowers his eyes, he hadn't really thought about it like that before. But Mary had died years ago over his crib, and John… well, they had watched him die right in front of their eyes.

"She would have had you!" Dean says, trying to keep his voice calm and quiet so he doesn't wake Isabel. "You brought her here...if something had happened...you could have been hurt, I could have been hurt, Sam..._She_ could have been hurt! You know damn well that I wouldn't be able to deal with that if it happened..."

"Well I'm sorry if I can't just sit back and watch you do something STUPID!" Sam whisper-yells.

"Oh so now protecting you is stupid? It's nice to know that you appreciate what I've sacrificed for this family!!" Dean yells as he pulls to a stop in front of the motel and slams the car into park, shutting it off.

Without even giving Sam a chance to respond, he's out of the car and has Isabel in hand again as he walks into their motel room.

Sam sighs and gets out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him and quickly following Dean. "Dean you know that I do but you can't just be so willing to do this stuff for us all the time...you could get killed! Then guess what? We're screwed! I wouldn't know what to do...Isabel would have lost her mom _and_ her dad...Dean you can't do that, not to us and sure as hell not _for_ us"

Dean places Isabel into her crib before turning on Sam. "I do what I think is best for this family. It's my fault Dad's dead Sam. Don't even try and deny it, we both know what happened… I'm not going to have any more lives lost. Not on my watch. I won't lose you too…"

"Dean you're not gonna lose me and that doesn't mean you can keep me locked up in the motel room...I'm twenty-three man!" Sam says, not yelling anymore because he knows how Dean feels about protecting him, especially now.

"Listen to your own words Sam, okay? _I'm_ twenty-seven. You can't keep me in a motel room either. Besides, I'm older, so I'm automatically right." He smiles a little… they were getting to the predictable calm of the argument. Jokes were okay now…

"I'm not trying to lock you away though...I'm trying to make sure you live to see your daughter grow up..." Sam says, looking back at Isabel's sleeping form before turning back to look at Dean. "You have to be there for her."

Dean looks over at her too. "I want her to grow up without any of this. I don't ever want her to have to worry about a demon or vampire or exorcism. Not ever. And if that means getting out there now, and taking a risk or two, I'm gonna do it. If her growing up without them means her growing up without me…" he pauses, swallowing hard. "Then I don't care. Because I will do anything… _anything_, to give her a better life."

"Dean..." Sam looks at his brother. He'd known the second he had seen Dean with Isabel in his arm that his brother would be completely committed to her. "A better life would be one where she has her father. Someone to tuck her in at night, someone to hold her when she's scared, to read her bedtimes stories...someone to be her dad...that is what she needs more then anything. Dean, she needs you."

"And I just need to know she's safe. And as long as you're around, Sam, she is. Look, everything here's fine, nothing bad happened, everyone's safe now. Let's just move on from this case okay? We'll…we'll figure out a better way to deal with the next job later. Right now I just wanna crash. I never realized digging solo would be so much extra work."

"You can't avoid this forever..." Sam says quietly, watching his brother closely. "We're gonna have to figure this whole thing out one way or another...even if you do put it off for a week or two, it won't go away."

Dean kicks off his shoes as he walks over to his bed, deliberately not meeting Sam's eyes. "I know."

Sam watches his brother for a few more minutes… he knows Dean wants him to forget about all this… to let him continue on with his own plan or whatever else Dean's thinking. He also knows there's no way he's gonna forget this, or let Dean forget it either. With a sigh, he follows suit and steps out of his shoes before crawling into his own bed.

The two men are in bed just long enough to be in a light sleep when Isabel's cries wake them both."I got her..." Dean sitting up, rubbing at his eyes for a second before standing up and walking over to Isabel's crib. "Hey baby girl..." Dean whispers quietly as he gently, picks her up. "Daddy's here."Isabel snuggles into his chest, still letting out a small cry every few seconds as she catches her breath.

Dean holds her close to him as he walks back over to the bed and lays her down in the middle. She starts to cry again as he lays a pillow on one side of her before lying on the other side of her small body and whispering quietly into her ear as he plays with her fingers.Dean watches Isabel with loving eyes as she starts to slowly fall back asleep. He continues watching her until sleep washes over him once again.


	6. Author's Note of Continuation!

Ok, so… this is just to let everyone know that I'm terribly sorry that it has been well over a year since this was updated. However, I quite literally have lost my writing partner, and was hoping she would reappear. However, that doesn't appear likely anymore. Therefore, I would like to assure you all that this story will soon be continued, just with a new co-author. Myself, and my now screenwriting partner (we are currently working on a script for an original television show) will be picking this back up. It has always been one of my favorite stories to have written, and I have missed it greatly. So please, start keeping tabs on this again if you were an avid reader. If this note means you're just discovering this story, then please, mark it for update notification. I'm not sure exactly when this will be updated again, but rooming with my writing partner will be a huge help, lol, so I'd say fairly soon.

In the meantime, feel free to re-read and re-familiarize yourself with what's been going on, and I will get back asap with the next chapter!


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